Arsham Parsi at Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Ottawa

Before anything, I need to thank Gilles Marchildon, who always supported the IRanian Queer Organization, and helped IRQO be recognized among other human rights defenders and organizations in a very short time.  I was still in Turkey when he invited me to participate in the annual Egale Canada gala in Toronto on June 13, 2007 which was a starting point for our Organization, Thank you Gilles. 

Before I talk more about IRQO’s work, I will share a little more about my personal story. I escaped from my homeland on March 5, 2005 at 12:45 PM. It was the hardest time in my life because I had to leave all my belongings behind just because of who I am. I became a volunteer for Queer Human Rights since one of my closest gay friends committed suicide in 2001 because of his sexual orientation and his family’s pressure. I decided to do something for the Iranian queer community.

A few weeks ago, I received an email with the subject "I'm lonely, help me."  The sender was about 40 years old, and he was truly lonely.  He's been hiding his sexuality for years and has been under extreme social pressure.  His family insists that he get married, and he no longer has any excuse to escape this pressure.  He was just looking to find someone who would listen to him.  He just wanted to vent to me.  He was utterly hopeless and one of his wishes was to die so that he doesn't have to face these challenges. 

A few hours after I wrote back to him and said I'd listen to him, he trusted me with his phone number.  When I called him, he couldn't speak.  He didn't even know where to start.  He couldn't believe he could lift the veil of pretence and speak his true mind.  He was silent for a few minutes and was just listening to me.  When he spoke, he spoke quietly and I could easily feel the pain behind his voice.  I asked him to talk to me but I didn't hear anything other than sobbing.  After a short while he started to speak while crying.  He told me of his childhood and feelings.  He told me of his school and the humiliation he's been subjected to.  He told me of the cruelties of his parents, of his brothers' threats, of the problems at work, of his forced marriage, of the cure his family had found for him: pain killers, and electric shocks.  He told me of his youth, his fear of having a losing his honor, lack of real friends...

I didn't know what to say.  I was overwhelmed with all these problems.  I had to seek shelter in cliché advice, and ask him to be patient and hopeful.  I told him to bear with his problems and try to have a better life.  But my words wouldn't heal any wounds.  I knew he wasn't the only one facing such troubles.  I told him that he should find a friend, who can save him from loneliness, and with whose help he could save himself from such circumstances.  He smirked and said: "I'm too old for this.  How many more years do you think I'd live?  These last few years of my life I can live in the corner of my room.  I don't want to do something that even after my death would hurt my family and friends."  He was worried if he ever came out, how he could keep his family's honor.

These fears and worries are not only his.  Most of the lesbians, gays, bisexuals, and transgenders that we come in contact with, have the same fears and worries.  There is a hidden fear in them.  There is no possibility for coming out.  Their families, friends, and the entire society have a problem with their sexual orientation.  They can't accept it as a natural phenomenon.  At best the society will just bear with them as sexual perverts, sinners, and unnatural beings. 

One of the activities of IRQO in the past few years has been dealing with refugee issues and supporting refugees and asylum seekers.  In 2007, IRQO followed asylum claims of 65 asylum seekers.  80% of them have been recognized as refugees by the United Nations High Commissionaire for Refugees, and Europeans courts.  The other 20% of cases are still pending.  Out of the recognized refugee cases, 70% of them will be resettled in Canada and will reside in Toronto, Vancouver, and Montreal.  10% of them will go to the US and 20% to European countries. 

A vast majority of asylum seekers had social problems and one of the main reasons for their flight is the hidden fear that makes them vulnerable and stressed.  Reaching the marriage age and the resulting problems only worsen the situation.  At the end of the day, if for any reason they are ever arrested by the security forces, they can never defend themselves.  Nor will their families defend them. 

Such stress not only threatens their mental well-being, but it also has direct negative effects on their education, social status, work, forced marriage, and physical health.  I know many queers who, under the family pressure, married someone of the opposite sex and after having a few children, they got divorced.  Unfortunately many turn to narcotic drugs to be free from such fears, be it only for a few hours.  When listening to any of the asylum seekers, I realize that behind all the problems and fears, they are hopeful to live a happy life.  They hope now that they've left the country, they at least have the right to life. 

Unfortunately, however, they face numerous obstacles on their journey.  Those who escape to Europe are still denied basic human rights.  Rejection of their asylum claim, arrest, and deportation adds to their stress.  One of the asylum seekers in Belgium became schizophrenic under such pressure.  She constantly avoids people and fears that they're police agents who want to deport her back to Iran.  It took us weeks to convince her to seek professional help.  She was hospitalized and was under the doctors' attention.  Yet the fear lingers. 

In Canada also, there are cases where it's been a year since they applied for asylum and still nothing has happened.  Whenever they follow up on their case, they're told to go and live their lives and not worry about their asylum application.  A few days ago, one of them contacted IRQO and was very depressed since his mother is old and sick but since his claim has not yet been approved, he cannot invite his mother to visit him in Canada for a few days.

In Turkey, there are more than 50 queer asylum seekers who live in difficult situation concerning accommodation, food, clothing, and physical and mental well-being.  IRQO has endeavored to help them with donations.  Unfortunately, so far we haven't been able to deliver.  We had to give a negative answer when they ask for financial help, although we're totally aware of their difficult circumstances. 

IRQO is forced to carry out the functions of many organizations.  Medical services, individual consultations, social counseling, refugee issues, fighting homophobia, cultural programs...  these are some examples of our daily tasks.  Yet IRQO does not have the financial means to do this.  Even for its telephone and internet provider, IRQO has to seek the help of its board directors under these circumstances. Do we have to narrow down our activities in accordance with our personal limitations, or should we expand our resources to match the extensive social needs? 

This is a question that affects the fate of many Iranian queer individuals.  In order to answer this question the board is looking for feedback from the community at large. I really appreciate being invited to speak here today, thank you for your support and I look forward to discussion with many of you.